Goodbye to you
by PreciousLily
Summary: song Fic. Harry reflects to the death of a character from the 5th book. OoTP spoilers. song: goodbye to you by Michelle Brach. ReadReview. edited and Revised.


**A.N- O.K. I wanted to re-write this, it wasn't how I planned it. I wanted more words, it was too short before. hope you like this one!!!**

Good bye to you  
(Harry remembers Sirius's death)  
(Song fic)

Harry was on his bed reading his birthday cards when he sets them aside and starts thinking about Sirius. Ever since his death, Harry had been down in the dumps, and refused to write to anyone, except for the every three days, he had to write to the order. 'I could probably be at Grimmauld Place right now if he didn't die.' Harry thought, trying to block out all the disturbing dreams he had been having about Sirius dieing over and over.

_Of all the things I've believed in __  
  
I just want to get it over with  
  
Tears form behind my eyes  
  
But I do not cry  
  
Counting the days that pass me by   
_

Harry has wanted to cry. But he never had. He had grown up crying, hiding from the abuse from the Dursley's, he had learnt that crying was not good. It only made things worse. He once wanted to die just to be with Sirius and his parents. But, he thought better of that. To many people would miss him and no one would be able to defeat Voldemort. Plus, Sirius wouldn't like that.

_Goodbye to you __  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
_

__

Harry tried to concentrate on Hermione's card. He started reading but his thoughts took him over once again. _**'I hope you have a happy birthday. And Harry, do try to write back. I haven't heard from you all summer. Its worrowing me. I hope you deal with Sirius' death in the right way. Don't do something drastic.'**_ He thought that he could have prevented Sirius dieing.   
"I won't do something drastic 'Mione." Harry whispered into the night, hoping that he wouldn't.

_I still get lost in your eyes __  
  
and it seems that I can't live a day without you  
  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
  
But it's not right   
  
_

Everywhere where Harry went Sirius followed in Harry's mind. He could never escape him even in his dreams. In his head, he'll hear Sirius' bark like laugh, echoing through Grimmauld place. His Fatherly essence. And Beatrix's cold glare, after she had succeeded in taking her dear cousins life. He'll always remember him but his life has been miserable without him.

_Goodbye to you __  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
  
I want you  
  
But I'm not giving in this time   
  
_

All Harry wanted to do was see Sirius. He made his mind up he was going to do it. Nasty thoughts echoed throughout his mind, while he grabbed some parchment, getting ready for his great escape. He grabbed a Quill, and ran it softly across his wrist, watching the blood flow. Harry sat down, and started to write a letter to his two best friends.

Hopefully they wouldn't be too mad. They'd miss him alright, but would they really, if they looked deep enough in their hearts, could they forgive him for what he was going to do?

_Goodbye to you__  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to   
  
_

He was going to send the letter the second before he died.

He had his wand ready. He thought of everyone and to see his mum and dad, and Sirius. But something in his heart stopped him the second he was going to say "Kedava". The green light stopped in mid-air, right in front of his nose, then drew back in his wand. He knew that Sirius would be disappointed if he killed himself, just to see him. Also Hermione and Ron would be devastated. Especially Mrs. Weasley would be if had finished those two words.

You can really tell how much she cares for him. There is something connected between the two of them, a mother's love. Harry always guessed it was because he and Ron always got into so many situations, and he was Ron's best friend. He then put his wand down, after throwing away the "I'm sorry I killed myself letter."  
He would have missed too much, if he went on with those two words.

After that point, he was determined to kill Voldemort, for all the pain and suffering he caused him. He would kill Voldemort, for his parents and Sirius. Maybe not soon, but in the near future. He could feel it.

He made a silent wish for all that he was just thinking, on a shouting star, hoping that not a lot of lives will have to be taken by the time he can kill Voldemort. So far, he would just have to help in the small ways. Then he would strike.

_And when the stars fall  
  
I will lie awake  
  
You're my shooting star_

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_Thankx for reading. It was my first songfic. The song is Michelle Branch's. It's called Goodbye to you. One of my favorites. Oh, and Harry Potter is not mine. It's the wonderful J.K. Rowling. _

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_ALs_

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